Moments

A busy day:

baking melting moments

(to be filled and eaten tomorrow at our 

family birthdays/early Christmas afternoon tea)

 and shopping all afternoon:

presents for tomorrow

clothes for me

groceries

make up for ballet concert...

the list goes on.

And an expensive car service.

Money is going out at an alarming rate;

fortunately in the last couple of days we 

received an unexpected tax refund.

Much as I enjoy shopping ;-)

I do find it hard to balance 

our "need" for items, eg clothing, gifts

and my desire for 

a simpler, less expensive life.

The games my mind plays exhaust me sometimes.

Spend? Save? Give?

Make do? Mend? Go without?

Too expensive. Too cheap.

I'd love to give more to charities

and to church;

or sponsor another child;

but there are constant lists of things

to buy for our first-world life,

requests and needs from the girls,

and to be honest,

 my selfish nature wants more for me, too.

But I do feel a gradual change coming.

Slowly, slowly.

I'm learning to let go a little,

and be more generous.

Because deep down 

I know that money and possessions

are not what life is really about at all,

despite all Christmas marketing to the contrary.

Do you struggle with this at this time of year, too?