Monday, June 17, 2013

Lately ...

A month has gone by since I last posted.

Life has been busy, and few photos taken.

But  ... ready? 

Here I go - one month in one post:

The term is drawing to a close,

and once again I am feeling that I haven't

achieved anything.

Instead, we've been taking each day as it comes.

Laura has been suffering from daily migraines,

sometimes with nausea and overheating,

and ongoing vision problems

(which may or may not be related to the migraines).

She has missed a lot of school.

They are not bad migraines, 

often just a mild headache,

but she rarely has a pain-free day,

and when nausea hits 

she just needs to be home.

The two of us have spent a lot of days together this term.

She is too tired or sick or sore to go to school,

and there's not much she can do but 

watch TV.  

Reading is not possible, 

and she can't ever get back to sleep.

The traditional advice is to take aspirin 

and "sleep it off", but this has no effect.

But hopefully the end is in sight,

tomorrow we have a long-awaited appointment

with a doctor who has ordered

all sorts of interesting bloodtests

to find triggers,

and we have also been seeing a physio who specialises

in the Barral treatment, which might help over time.

 The girls and I have also been together a lot on the weekends.

Steve has been involved in various music performances lately,

playing in a musical, and a chamber music concert 

most recently.

On Mothers Day he had to be at an all-day rehearsal.

However he and the girls gave me all sorts of lovely presents

and we girls enjoyed a walk in the sunshine,

when most of these photos were taken, 

with my phone.

A neighbour's pumpkin growing on the sunny side of the fence.

I've been doing some casual teaching, 

when not at home with Laura,

and the weekly round of piano teaching

and the girls' activities has continued,

all not leaving me a bit time-poor.

The weather has cooled down,

keeping me close to the heater

a little too often.

Mum had her 70th Birthday party last weekend.

It was a lot of preparation for Dad and I;

we organised games and I made

invitations, nametags and placecards.

The party was a great success in the end

and lots of fun,  Mum loved it,

the stress of getting ready for it was all forgotten.


When I look back on the last weeks

since our Tasmania holiday

and wonder where the time has gone,

I see that I have "achieved" some things.

I cared for my sick daughter,

researched and went to appointments;

I helped Dad with Mum's party;

I provided food for family,

and sometimes even clean laundry.

I led bible study,

ran a Stampin' Up! party,

earned income by teaching,

and a few more things besides.

Really, when I list it out like that

I don't know why I feel frustrated.

But I do.

I guess the term just didn't turn out

like I planned it to.

Saturday night's sunset as we gathered around the campfire.

This last weekend the girls and I went to

our church's annual weekend away.

The speaker commented on our 

achievement-driven culture and 

our quest for freedom.

People around us want to be 'free

to do what they want, in the way that they want',

and that "freedom" normally boils 

down to trying to achieve one's desires.


The Bible doesn't call us to achieve anything,

but to love God, to obey and trust,

and to love and care for and encourage other people.

Yes, I have responsibilities

- dinners still need to be cooked,

the house cleaned, money earned - 

I am not supposed to be a loving syrupy fairy

with a head full of fluff -

but achievements are not to be my main focus.

This is a hard call for me.

"Coincidentally" I've come across 

a few great blog posts this morning that made me think

along the same lines, here and here, both worth reading.


I wonder what would happen,

if I stopped focusing on my lists and my plans,

and listened to what God wants me to be?

Perhaps it's that kind of freedom

that I'm craving, 

rather than a ticked-off list of my projects.


So these are my thoughts today,

as I sit at home, 

with Laura home from school again.


What are you thinking about?


April Dunlap said...

What a blessing to have the heart for hearing that message; we are not defined by our achievements!
You have been a very busy mother, wife, and friend, and those are all of great eternal significance!

I pray you will be able to discover the cause and help your daughter's headaches SOON. It is so hard when our babies hurt--even if they're not exactly babies anymore.

Thank you for sharing that lovely sunset photo!

Hill upon Hill said...

Wow, what an honest account. It was very, very helpful though and I hope that it helped you to read over your own post and see God's hand so very clearly.