Oh Chocolate, how I miss you ....

Oh Chocolate, how I miss you.

Ever since I had to give you up (almost entirely) late last year I have been thinking of you.

When I see you in the distance I have to remind myself to keep away from you, to be strong.

How I would love to sit with you, on the sofa after lunch, with a cup of tea.

Or even to spend time with you and my friends.

Before Christmas I thought I would pine away without you

... my weight plummeted.

But after Christmas I lost my energy and enthusiasm for life without you

... I sat on the sofa for hours at a time

... knowing that others were enjoying you instead of me

... turning into a couch potato, my skirts became tight again.

Sometimes I catch a glimpse of you, a taste even ...

(made by Emily)

... while I eat a choc chip cookie.

I enjoy the slightest reminder of the lost pleasure of being with you.

I've tried to find other loves,

(photo)

but nothing takes your place.

Once or twice I have given in completely,

and indulged in forbidden pleasure.

But it is not the same.

The joy is gone

and tasting you becomes a calculated affair

to be indulged only on certain days

and fraught with fear of the consequences.

But I know that in an instant I could be with you again

... everywhere I look reminds me of you

(photo)

... I have so much of you around me still.

Sometimes I forget that you are gone from my life,

I reach out for you ... and then remember.

But I shall be strong,

... knowing that being without you is for the best.

And knowing also that the previously unthinkable life without you

is actually possible,

after all.